Wishful Thinking

Could this wonderful partnership/friendship be coming to an end?

 In recent news there is a long shot chance (extremely long shot, so let's not get too excited) that the Cubs may be interested in our very own Ned Colletti to fill their opening for general manager.  Because of our admiration of his work and our desire to see him succeed, we here at Proven Veteran Leaders have decided to be grown-ups about this and submit the following letter of recommendation.

Dear Tom Ricketts,

We are writing on behalf of Ned Colletti, who we believe is an ideal fit to be the general manager of your fine franchise.  He got his start in your organization and we feel that a reunion would be good for you and good for baseball.  You see, Ned’s an old-school type, a real “baseball guy.”  He’s not one of those nerds who tend to rely on things like statistics and “facts” in their evaluations of baseball players.  He relies on his own damn peepers, and looks for players with guts and a knowledge of how to win.  You might be saying to yourself: “Those sound like intangible things with no real way to measure or quantify them.”  Well first of all, that sounds like Communist talk to us.  Second of all, and this really is the greatest thing about Ned Colletti.  There is a way to quantify intangibles, and Ned Colletti is the only one who can do it!  That’s right, he has figured out a way to measure the immeasurable, calculate the incalculable, tangabilize  the intangible. 

                It’s because of this we feel Ned Colletti would be a great leader for your organization.  In addition, he likes the same gritty white players the Cubs seem to enjoy.  We’ve employed both Ryan Theriot and Aaron Miles in the past two seasons.  Of course, you know all about Ryan Theriot as you traded him to the Los Angeles Dodgers for Blake Dewitt.  What’s that you’re saying?  Blake Dewitt is not nearly scrappy enough, or white enough, for you?  Well, then rest easy.  Ned Colletti will trade him for the most valuable asset in the game of baseball.  That’s right, middle relief. 

                Now you might be wondering why we’d be so eager to rid ourselves of such a great leader.  Well, the thing is, as you may have heard the Los Angeles Dodgers are in a built of a pickle with their ownership.  See, with Frank McCourt at the helm, the Dodgers won’t be able to afford to go after the top tier free agents, or middle-tier for that matter, so we feel Ned’s gifts of overpaying for marginal talent would best be put to use where there might be money for him to waste, pardon, invest.  What the Dodgers will do, is just give a young guy like Logan White a chance to build a cheap team.  Dodger fans everywhere are willing to make this sacrifice for you.  Plus, Ned Colletti already has an awesome Chicago ‘stache.  Hell, if Saturday Night Live ever brings back the “Da Bears” sketch, he could fill the late Chris Farley’s role no problem.  That kind of ‘stache just can’t be bought. 

Sincerely,

Proven Veteran Leaders

And in other news, Kenley Jansen has been activated with Josh Lindblom sent back down to aaa to make room.  Don't worry, Lindblom fans.  He should be up as soon as rosters expand on September 1st.  Also, it looks like Dee Gordon should be back by Saturday.  Let's just hope this means that Eugenio Velez can continue his pursuit of a hitless season in another uniform rather than Justin Sellers getting sent down.